Workshop 02/05: Yvonne Labbe "Evidence"

Yvonne Labbe’s “Evidence” experiments with various electronic communication formats in order to form a narrative about a love triangle. It is fitting that this triangle should be created and discovered via the three communication formats utilized: craigslist adds, e-mails and text messages. The story begins with a craigslist ad posted by William, re: the woman he met at the New Mexican restaurant that he would like to reconnect with. Then the e-mail correspondence between William and this eloper, Kat, is discovered by Darlene (William’s girlfriend’s sister) when her regular customer (Kat, the other girl) tells Darlene about her new boy, William. Darlene then sneaks a peak at Kat’s e-mails on the computer she has left open on the table and quickly forwards the correspondence to Margaret. The two sisters then have a text message argument about the implications, resulting in Margaret deciding to trust her boyfriend over her sister.

As you can see from my attempt to explain that, it is a bit convoluted. That’s not to say that the plot does not work, but I think that the sister is not necessary, and just complicates things (unless there is a fourth section, initiated by the girlfriend, trying to talk out what the girlfriend has discovered). If you stick with the characters involved in the love triangle, then there is less necessity for expositional dialogue. An e-mail sent to the wrong girl, a misplaced text message, set-up for lunch with the wrong girl (taking the conversation from digital to physical, as the boyfriend and girlfriend confront each other, the boyfriend acting like he had planned it, the girlfriend discovering the truth). 

There is a lot to plat with here. We know the least about the boyfriend, William. Does he post craigslist ads every time he meets a pretty girl, or is it really that he hit it off with just this one girl? Answering that question lets the reader know whether he is a dog, or someone that we might be able to sympathize with. This is going to sound corny, but explore the digital world that you have created. All of these technologies, as you have shown, co-mingle and create a virtual ecology. Think about what tensions arise through these forms, and notions of private vs. public lives, and the fact that, like it or not, most everything you do will probably have some sort of on-line residuum. 

Good luck.