Critique: Notes on a Kitchen Table

     What I like most about "Notes on a Kitchen Table" is how it utilizes forms in ways that both define and alter the relationship between the two characters, Danny and Ally. Through notes and flowcharts it becomes apparent that Danny has come home drunk again, which has caused Ally to stay up all night creating a flow chart that Danny just has to fill out rather than feeling stifled by Ally's inquiries about where he's been.
      What stems from the flowchart is the predictability of Danny, and his apparent alcoholism. The end of the flowchart is a heart-felt vignette which describes a recurring moment between the lives of Danny and Ally, and the very final bubble asks "where do we go from here?"
        What's impressive is that Ally's voice comes through in a profound way through the flow-chart. This can either be attributed to Ally's note in the beginning, or to the snarky subtext of a flowchart that accurately describes a person's day. Every day. Still more telling is that the red lines that Danny fills in, answering each question and going down the trail, has a voice unto itself. I would attribute that again to Danny's short sweet note in the beginning, but also to the fact that he actually took the time to fill it out.
        The story's ending is written in the unfilled lines at the end of the flowchart. Of course this leaves the story on an ambiguous note. It brings us back to Danny's letter being the final action of the piece, while Ally's is the first. As such, we read Danny's letter differently, and less optimistically upon completing the flowchart. He's probably out drinking again, and he is not answering the only question Ally cares about.
        I really enjoyed this. It is strong, concise, properly utilizes form, and develops two distinct characters. It's hard even to identify what you could do to change the piece. You could always fine-tune the flowchart. The more specific, the more humour the reader will find. Things like "did you put your shirt on inside out?" or "did you choose matching socks" would be the sort of intimate details that dig deeper into the relationship. The less generic, the better. The scotch, is it a particular brand. What type of cigarettes does he smoke? I would definitely consider turning this into part of something larger, but it is excellent on its own.